spiritual growth

I have recently decided to renew my relationship with God. I used to be very close to Him and over the last 8 years I have strayed away and even defied Him in so many ways. While trying to figure out how to this I have encountered several websites, blogs, and have even had the opportunity to meet new people and have have very insightful conversations with old friends. One blog in particular that I have found is a blog by a woman named Erin Taylor. I found her blog through http://www.sheseeks.org/.
In one of her blog entries Erin states "If I were to lean into my Prince would He not guide me in the waltz we call life? Would it not be the most beautiful dance ever choreographed?" Those two sentences hit me like a ton of bricks. It is so true.  Erin also says "Today I rest in that I am valuable simply because I am His. He chose me. He loves me and I am whole. When life spirals I white knuckle those truths and step one foot in front of the other in the race He has called me, just me, to run." This reminds me that I need to let go so much more. Most days I feel like I am letting God run the show when in reality I am trying to do all the directing. I have been holding on to MY life and living it MY way, to benefit ME and to do things on MY time. It took Erin's blog entry and a recent conversation with a new friend for me to recognize this.  I should be spending more time listening to God and living a life for Him than for myself. My thoughts before my actions shouldn't be "how will this affect me?" or "what do I want out of this"  but instead just leaving the "how", "what" and most importantly "why" up to God.