I have been living with my roommate who is also my best friend for about 7 months now. I had always heard that living with your best friend never works out, and while I had tried living with friends beofre and never lasted an extended period of time, this time felt different. I guess the "honeymoon period" is coming to a quick close. In the last month I have noticed that either 1) she is doing more things that annoy me than beofre or 2) Im finally noticing things that she does that annoy the piss out of me.
The biggest beef I have lately is that I have begun to notice just how self absorbed she can be. While if I needed money, a ride, a fresh uniform at work, or dinner brought to me she would do it, but when it comes to other things that are not so materialistic she thinks only of herself. And when I point out to her the effects of her action or decisions had on me or anyone else I get one of 2 responses: 1) "I didnt think about that" or 2):well, theres nothing I can do about it now, Im sorry" or something along those lines.
The latest decisions affect not only me but a few other people. While I tend to hang with an older crowd I am used to having male and female friends who are married, and with that comes an almost special set of rules, especially when it comes to married male friends. I have learned the hard way that some men will be dogs, married or not and you can get yourself into a sticky situation very quickly without even knowing it until you are waist high in it. She recently has become close to a paticular married guy friend. This paticular guy is a newly wed, married a mere 6 months. His wife is also a friend of mine, and she has had her share of bad relationships and now is self-conscious about her significant other. My roommate has been doing a lot of texting and talking to this guy, enough that his wife has noticed the amount and has become concerned. She mentioned her concern to husband and when did not get a satisfactory response she expressed her concern to me in hopes that I would mention it to my friend and things could get fixed then, with no hurt feelings or awkward experiences.
Well, it didnt work. My RM decided to not listen to anything I had to say. After several conversations being the go between I decided to remove myself from the situation and told all parties involved I wished to be nuetral, and not part of any future parts. This has not worked either. Just tonight I received a msg from the wife about finding her husband at our house sitting on our couch in a pair of pants and no shirt, his shirt and shoes were in her bedroom....I am just at my wits end....this is only part of a complicated week. There are quite a few things that go into play here, but Im too exhausted just thinking about it. I blame myself for part of it. I just want to rewind about 2 weeks and start over from there and maybe things would be different if I had made a different decision. If I had paid more attention to a few details. While I am not perfect and don't claim to be, for I have definitly made enough bad decisions of my own in the past and sure to make more in the future, I dont want my best friend to make any decisions that she will regret later, but I can only do so much......
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1 comment:
I don't think you should blame yourself for any of this. Your roommate is an adult and acting inappropriately with a married man. She should know better, but doesn't seem to care. In fact, out of respect for you, she should have pulled back when you first asked her to.
Lighten up on yourself, you're not her mother. I feel for you, though, because you're smack dab in the middle of a mess:(
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