The next music star in my family...

This is a video of me niece, shot by my sister-in-law

Ben, Laura, Ted & Sophie: take me home, country roads: "Sophie has learned a new song. Again, not out of us directly teaching her. Just out of pure exposure. The other day at Giant Eagle, Country ..."

You can't treat what you don't see

I have noticed recently a disturbing trend with the BLS crews I that I work with regularly, they aren't doing full assessments. They aren't getting the full story. They are too worried with response times, on scene times, and turn around times, or they just seem like they don't care. This can make my job as an ALS provider difficult, especially if they are rendezvousing with me between the scene and the hospital, there's no family to tell me the story and the patient is unable to or is a poor historian, which in turn makes me look like the imbecile upon arriving at the hospital and telling the nurse nothing more than a generic chief complaint with no pt history, meds, or even allergies sometimes, just what I found in my assessment and what I did to treat my patient.
This doesn't apply only to medical patients, I have had run ins on trauma calls as well. (These are not every call events, but I am hoping its not a new trend either) Crews not getting a full story and by time I meet the BLS crew the helicopter is already 5-10 min out, I know my pt has some sort of traumatic injury, and the pt is still dressed.  I have 5-10 min to assess the injuries (including exposing the patient so I can properly assess injuries), try to gather a story if any family is present, or hopefully peek at the vehicle (if I meet crew on scene), and start treatment.
I am sure I am not the only person to struggle with this. I am not trying to whine or complain here, just want to  figure out a way I can reach out to these folks and express the importance of a full, proper assessment, no matter how minor the "emergency" may seem, no matter how close to the hospital you are, or how hard the adrenaline has your heart pumping. Our care needs to be more patient focused and less focused on turn around times or the fact that a patient is a frequent flyer.
Each patient deserves our very best, each and every time.

spiritual growth

I have recently decided to renew my relationship with God. I used to be very close to Him and over the last 8 years I have strayed away and even defied Him in so many ways. While trying to figure out how to this I have encountered several websites, blogs, and have even had the opportunity to meet new people and have have very insightful conversations with old friends. One blog in particular that I have found is a blog by a woman named Erin Taylor. I found her blog through http://www.sheseeks.org/.
In one of her blog entries Erin states "If I were to lean into my Prince would He not guide me in the waltz we call life? Would it not be the most beautiful dance ever choreographed?" Those two sentences hit me like a ton of bricks. It is so true.  Erin also says "Today I rest in that I am valuable simply because I am His. He chose me. He loves me and I am whole. When life spirals I white knuckle those truths and step one foot in front of the other in the race He has called me, just me, to run." This reminds me that I need to let go so much more. Most days I feel like I am letting God run the show when in reality I am trying to do all the directing. I have been holding on to MY life and living it MY way, to benefit ME and to do things on MY time. It took Erin's blog entry and a recent conversation with a new friend for me to recognize this.  I should be spending more time listening to God and living a life for Him than for myself. My thoughts before my actions shouldn't be "how will this affect me?" or "what do I want out of this"  but instead just leaving the "how", "what" and most importantly "why" up to God. 

RIP PFC Cody Board

Its a sad day in our country when a soldier who died for our country can't even make it to his final resting place in peace! 

a friend and a prayer

It amazes me how you can find a friend in someone you never thought you would. Tonight I was chatting with a friend who works as an emt at a local fd that I run mutual aid with as a medic and we had what was a very emotional conversation for me and I don’t think they even knew it. We got on the topic of how I have wanted to lose weight for some time now but I feel like it doesn’t matter what I do it either doesn’t work or only for a little bit. I was not expecting to get nearly as emotional as I did. I found myself not just shedding a tear or two at how kind he was being and how encouraging he was trying to be but I found myself sobbing, sitting in the medic office at work crying like a damn blubbering fool.  This is a person who until tonight I considered only an acquaintance of work. It was great joy to learn they could be a source of encouragement and motivation.  I have had so much going on in my personal life that I feel like I am losing control, slowly but surely. I feel like I was spun in circles and let loose in a dark room with a lot of random objects to run into and stumble over. I have tried deep breathing, I have tried reading, I tried throwing myself into my Bible, but I feel like either its not working or Im not doing it right. This is the second time I have ended up crying today…earlier was in public while at the doctor office and I have no idea what provoked it.  

God,

Please help me! Guide me closer to you, if I can give all my burdens to you and live for you then everything else won’t matter! I need to shed myself of the things that are standing between you and me, the things that I have let into my life and run it instead of listening to your plan.

Amen

I am looking at having to board my dog for the first time. I am almost in tears, this is ridiculous! There is a schedule problem with my roommate and I. I will basically be working a 24 and she gets off at 6am but has plans to go visit her sick grandmother, but shes not 100% sure. So I would rather play it safe and have him boarded than her not be here and me not be here, thats just cruel! I called my boss from work for a recommendation and the place he recommended is an animal hospital, but they are full, so I asked them for a recommendation and am checking them out now....i just want the best for my little guy....

filling a void

So recently I have been doing a lot of self research. By self research I mean trying to figure out what I want in life, where I wanna see myself in the future, what I can get out of my life. The more research I did the more I realized there was something missing, and that maybe I was searching in the wrong direction for the wrong things. When I was in high school I had what felt like a tight-knit relationship with Christ. I was very involved in various church activities and also with a Christian organization known as Young Life. When I went off to college my relationship with Christ slowly dissipated, I didnt have strong support of friends and family I had and I apparently was not strong enough in my faith to stay close to God. I did my own thing and experienced the world. It has only been in the last year or so, even more in the last few months that I realized I want that relationship back, I want to renew my faith. So I have recently begun the task of "church shopping" trying to find I church where I feel welcomed and comfortable, one that can help me grow in a relationship with Christ, one where I dont feel like just another face, one that has a good young adult ministry to help me, because I honestly feel like I  have been spun around until I am dizzy and then let loose in a pitch black cave to find my way out.

I have attended the United Methodist church here in town a few times, I was raised Methodist so I knew the service would be familiar, and it was....I even got invited to the young adult ministry group, which consisted of 3 others. A new group without a real plan for the class. And they were as nice as can be, they made me feel welcome, and included me on the planning for the next year of possibilities for the group, but the church in whole I dont feel is what I am really interested in, they didnt have the strong base for a young adult group like I am interested in, and only offer one contemporary service a month.

Today I tried a new church, one that sounded great online, it was supposed to be a community church, non-denominational. Well I found the building, double checked the address, but the name of the church was not the same as I had seen online, but decided to go anyways. I sat through an hour of the service and was completely taken aback by some of the things I heard. While they had the contemporary music, the rest of the leadership lacked a lot, there was no real theme for the service, they quoted multiple scriptures on tithe and offerings before asking the congregation to walk up and place offerings and then just continued to quote random scripture and have random people come up and give testimonials, anyone who felt like talking they gave a mic to....and then started talking about things in heaven I had never heard before. I didnt want to get up and leave and be rude, but I also was very uncomfortable staying. When an hour into the service they had a stand up and greet people time, I quietly slipped out the back and left.

I will do some more searching this week, and hopefully try a new one next week, meanwhile I am going to try and do more reading in my Bible and pray for direction and then Im going to sit and listen, and hope I hear what God has to say.....

New drug: K2?

I recently learned of a new substance for our fellow druggies to favor. Apparently there is a new drug called K2. It is a synthetic cannabinoid. And the word I hear is it gives a much better high than good ol' MJ. It apparently was originally created for incense but people have discovered its other capabilities and it looks pretty close to MJ and is smoked in the same fashion. I have heard that it can not be traced in a UDS (urine drug screen) like MJ can I am not claiming all of this to be fact, just word of mouth. Have any of you encountered any pts on this drug or have any better info? I know some states have begun to ban it. Here's a little info courtesy if Wikipedia.

I'd love to hear back from any of you folks on this....

Newfound hobby??

I have been playing with the idea of purchasing a handgun to learn how to shoot as a new hobby. I finally got the opportunity to get some hands on experience this week.Yesterday I had the opportunity to join a fellow paramedic friend of mine along with a gentleman who is well versed not only in the workings of the fire department for multiple decades but also in firearms. We drove out across the mountain to an outdoor range where I had the opportunity to try several different firearms. I tried both a 22 and 45 revolver, the 45 was much larger and heavier than the 22 and also packed a heck of a kick but it did have a scope on it which was pretty interesting. I also tried multiple semi-automatics to include a 22, a 40, a 45, and a 9mil. While these were all pretty similar in size, the 40 really held a punch as it was a stub-nose. (PS I learned a lot of these terms yesterday and what they mean) I found that the 22 and 9mil seemed to be the best fit comfort wise for me in handling and shooting. I now feel a little more comfortable in terms of purchasing a gun, now that I know Im comfortable shooting one and have an idea what the difference is. Still deciding what I might purchase, but I now know how to use the safety on guns and how to load both a revolver and semi-automatic, not to mention learned just how fun and stress relieving it is to empty a magazine! :)

So for those of you who actually follow me you will notice I took a break, sorry for no notice. I have been having a rough time in the personal life. I bailed on the diet, even though it was working, I just didnt feel like I had the energy to keep up with it. I am going to try again, maybe not as strictly, but with a health mindset and use the diet as a guide. I think I will also join Curves. I dont feel comfortable at a gym, I always feel like Im being judged. So again,, I ask for any support and motivation you can send my way. Please!

Thanks, and I'll try to be a bit more avid about posting....